If you can—and while she still can—go and see the world with your mother. It will reward you with the most beautiful memories you can go back to when she’s gone.
My late mama was both a great cook and as caring as any archetypal mother could be. She cooked the best seafood dishes and fussed over me even when I already had a child of my own.
But when I remember my mama, the first thing that comes to mind is neither her cooking nor her doting, fussing self. What I remember the most are our travels together. The memories, filled with gaps at times, always bring with them a certain brightness, as if bathed in sunshine.
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I’ve traveled quite a lot for someone born and raised in a middle class family. And I have my parents to thank for my travels when I was younger. I’ve gone on trips for work and play, with family and friends, and sometimes, all by myself. Each trip has its own core memory, a highlight, much like the ones we put on our Instagram profile.
Among my most cherished memories will always be the ones with mama, my favorite travel buddy. My biggest fan who cried when she read my first-ever byline in a glossy magazine—the first and last she ever got to read. That story was of our 2014 pilgrimage to the Sanctuary of St. Padre Pio (Santuario di San Pio da Pietrelcina) in San Giovanni Rotondo, Italy. I included a photo of us together in the article which made her smile even when, at that time just two weeks before her death, the pain was becoming more unbearable with each passing day. The cancer had metastasized to her brain by then, tormenting her with stabbing headaches and the occasional seizures.
Ten years have passed since she left us. It has also been quite a while since I shifted from teaching to writing. Still, I can’t seem to find the words to write about her and our many travels together. Even this short essay is proving to be a difficult task.
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Perhaps, what I want to say is this: if you are able and they still are, travel at least once with your parents. Every travel companion imparts a different lesson, much like how each destination we visit teaches us something unique.
With my mom, it was always about having a genuine and insatiable curiosity about people and places. It was my mama who first showed me how big and beautiful the world is, and that I should go out there and see it—a life lesson I try to pass on to my son.
It was she who taught me to be appreciative and respectful of other cultures. To do as the Romans do when in another country, to take the good in and leave the bad behind.
It was through my travels with my mama that I learned how to be more organized, especially when it was already my turn to do all the planning. It was also she, however, who taught me to leave a little room for adventure. To be prepared and pack in extra patience because things won’t always go our way, especially on the road. That it’s okay to be lost sometimes because some of the best travel memories come from unexpected moments.
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I remember our first time in Italy in 2005. We only had a rough itinerary, a time when travel planning was mostly done offline. I’ve lost track of how many times we said, “Nasaan na ba tayo? Hay, bahala na!” We nevertheless found ourselves enjoying off-the-radar places—Rimini, Ravenna, Tivoli, San Marino, even Siena then wasn’t as touristy as it is today. We just went with the flow and everything was so beautiful—eating at a nondescript trattoria where the owner spoke not a word of English. Ravenna’s gorgeous mosaics. Lovely Villa d’Este, where we relieved our favorite Lizzie Maguire Movie moments. And that bottle of limoncello we had in San Marino? Ah, simply divine!
I can go on and on and on. I have so many travel memories with my mama, mostly good, some stressful (trains nearly missed, rude Hong Kongers!)—but all so worthwhile that I would do everything all over again if only I could. In a heartbeat I would.
So if you can—and while she still can—go and see the world with your mom (and your dad, too!). It will reward you with the most beautiful memories, ones you can go back to even when she’s already gone.
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