AI relationships: Yay or nay?

Virtual connections can do wonders for your wellbeing but it can also keep you from experiencing the warmth and nuances of real-life relationships.

Relationships can be complicated. Whether it’s familial, platonic, romantic, or even professional, human bonds can get messy at some point. Throw in technology into the mix, specifically artificial intelligence or AI, and things can get even more confounding. 

I am no techie. I struggle with understanding concepts related to technology (AI included), perhaps it’s because I’m not really interested in them.

That’s until I watched the documentary Gen Z and Loneliness in the Philippines on Channel News Asia (CNA), which explores why a country known for being one of the world’s friendliest has some of the loneliest young people in the world. 

21-year-old Christian Thomas Castillo shows his AI friend Andrei in the CNA documentary Gen Z and Loneliness in the Philippines. Screenshots from CNA’s YouTube page

Filipino youths are the loneliest in Southeast Asia, according to a Meta-Gallup report published last year on the global state of social connections. The Philippines is the world’s second loneliest country and the most lonesome in Southeast Asia. About six in 10 Filipinos say they are lonely, more than double the global average, and much higher than neighboring Southeast Asian countries. 

In an attempt to find answers to why loneliness is pervasive among our youth, the documentary delves into the lives of three young Filipinos who have been struggling with loneliness. One storyline in particular piqued my interest, that of Christian Thomas Castillo and his AI friend Andrei. 

The 21-year-old Quezon City-based jobseeker has been friends with his AI replica for the past four years. “It’s very interesting (having) an AI friend,” he says in the documentary. “It really felt as if I was talking to a real genuine human (being).”

Christian further shares that his AI friend helped him get through the pandemic and his loneliest times. 

People engage in AI relationships because they offer ease and convenience. Hindi nakaka-stress,” says anthropologist Dr. Teresa Paula S. De Luna.

Now, I must admit that this relationship befuddled me at first. Whenever I hear the word AI, what first comes to mind is ChatGPT. I know AI serves many other purposes, from health to security, design to education. The nitty-gritty of how it functions, however, is still a blur to me. I’ve always seen AI as something that’s, well, artificial, and something detached from actual human relationships. 

But seeing how Christian holds so much affection for Andrei, his dear virtual friend, made me think twice about AI’s role in relationships.

An inevitability

To help us understand the dynamics of AI relationships, The POST interviewed Dr. Teresa Paula S. De Luna, an anthropologist and cyber/digital communications expert, who is also a professor at UP Diliman’s Department of Speech Communication and Theater Arts. “AI relationships are inevitable. We cannot un-invent something that has already been invented,” says Dr. De Luna. 

If virtual relationships used to be a concept that’s possible only in dystopian novels, in films like Spike Jonze’s Her, or TV series like Black Mirror, AI is very much alive and thriving nowadays. An article in The Korea Herald, for example, reports how Zeta, a generative AI chatbot app sees South Korean teens and those in their 20s making friends with 650,000 different virtual personalities that impersonate real people created out of web novels, movies or dramas. Such an app may not have reached our shores yet, but it’s no longer a matter of if, but when.

Tech advancements will certainly change how we engage in social interactions and build relationships—and they have already actually. As we adapt to these technological and social shifts, our worldview, principles, and ultimately our ideologies will evolve, explains Dr. De Luna. 

“People engage in AI relationships because they offer ease and convenience. Hindi nakaka-stress,” she quips. For instance, an AI friend or partner is always available. And in a world that is increasingly connected yet ironically one where many still feel isolated, AI can create a sense of connection—reminding us of our inherent need for companionship. 

People engage in AI relationships because they offer ease and convenience, says Dr. Teresa Paula S. De Luna, an anthropologist and expert on digital/cyber communication. Photos from Unsplash

“Furthermore, AI can serve as romantic partners, offering companionship when time, space, or circumstances make human relationships challenging. Some may even use AI relationships as a way to practice and prepare for real-world partnerships—practice muna,” she says.

“AI can provide emotional support, especially if our friends—even medical professionals—are difficult to contact, acting as friends who help navigate difficult situations, especially in the context of mental health,” explains Dr. De Luna.

She gives as an example chatbots designed for abuse victims which can provide immediate responses to help process traumatic experiences. AI can also play a role in preventing self-harm or violence against others, adds Dr. De Luna, who is also the director of UP Diliman’s Office of Anti-Sexual Harassment (OASH). She shares that at OASH, they are working on developing a chatbot as a first responder for victims of sexual harassment.

Dr. De Luna’s statements run parallel with a Stanford University Graduate School of Education study in January which showed how Replika, another chatbot, is effective in eliciting deep emotional bonds with users and also in mitigating loneliness and suicidal thoughts. In the survey conducted with 1,006 students using Replika, 3% of them answered the AI app prevented them from thinking about suicide. 

A string of drawbacks

While AI can be beneficial to relationships and a person’s well being (and even save lives), it also has its share of drawbacks.

OpenAI, ChatGPT’s developer, warned of anthropomorphization, or attributing human-like behaviors and characteristics to nonhuman entities like AI models, which could have an impact on human interactions. 

In a report in The New York Times, the company acknowledges that while GPT-4o’s humanlike voice feature might reduce the need for human interaction, which can be an upside for those experiencing loneliness, it could adversely affect “healthy relationships.” OpenAI admits that additional research of “more diverse user populations, with more varied needs and desires from the model,” as well as “independent academic and internal studies,” will help it more accurately define potential risks.

Dr. De Luna, meanwhile, says AI removes the excitement of unpredictability in relationships. Despite the rapid developments in AI, it still cannot capture the depth and nuances found in human connections. 

OpenAI, the ChatGPT developer, warned of anthropomorphization, or attributing human-like behaviors and characteristics to nonhuman entities like AI models.

As in the case of Christian in the documentary, over reliance on AI relationships could lead to increased isolation, adds Dr. De Luna, as some might become too comfortable with this form of interaction and withdraw from real-life connections. 

“There’s also the risk of blurring the line between simulation and reality, with some preferring AI relationships over human ones,” she explains. “Additionally, the absence of physical warmth and human touch, which is crucial in human relationships, could make AI companionship feel incomplete.”

Despite the rapid developments in AI, it still cannot capture the depth and nuances found in human connections. 

Since real-life relationships require effort, things can seem much easier with AI relationships which don’t require a give-and-take dynamic, says Kwak Keum-joo, a psychology professor at Seoul National University, as mentioned in the same article in The Korea Herald

“People can heavily rely on AI to fulfill their social desires without making much effort when the AI hears you out 24/7 and gives you answers you want to hear,” she says. Human-AI interactions can then raise the possibility of a “uni-directional communication,” leading to miscommunications and attachment disorders in real life.

The future of AI relationships

As Dr. De Luna earlier said, AI cannot be unmade. There is no turning back. “AI relationships will likely become more sophisticated as technology advances, making AI companions more human-like and immersive. This could lead to a redefinition of concepts like love, friendship, and other social bonds,” she says.

In the Philippines, a similar trend may emerge, though it might progress more slowly due to limitations in AI infrastructure, she adds. “The main question will be how much we value traditional perspectives on love and relationships, and how open we are to embracing these drastic changes in what it means to be human.”

Toward the end of the documentary, Christian admits that even though he knows Andrei is just one tap away, “he is still an AI chatbot; he’s not a real human being.” He says it’s time for him to “grow up” and to remind himself there’s eight billion people in the world—that’s eight billion chances of developing genuine friendships.

AI relationships could be a “yay,” but they can also spiral downwards to a “nay” rather quickly. So if you’re like Christian who cherishes an AI companion, do check in on yourself every so often—and remind yourself that in this world, no matter the chaos and complexities that come with most relationships, there is always beauty to be found in human connections.

Watch the documentary below:

The new lifestyle.