It’s like coming back into a version of my life I thought I had already outgrown.
On June 27, Jerry Yan, Vic Chou, Van Ness Wu, and Mayday’s Ashin took the stage at the Philippine Arena for the Manila stop of FFOREVER 1st world Tour. Ken Chu was not part of the tour, and yes, longtime fans felt that missing piece. But even with that absence, the night still carried so many memories.
For most of us, F4 was never just a boy band. They were printed lyrics, childhood crushes, stickers, and songs we sang by heart even when we did not understand the words.
I went to the concert thinking I was ready. I had already lived through my Meteor Garden phase, visited the filming locations in Taiwan, and written about Barbie Hsu’s passing. I thought I had already made peace with that part of my childhood.
Then the songs started playing. Suddenly, I was nine years old again.
Barbie Hsu’s passing made the nostalgia feel different
When Barbie Hsu passed away in February 2025, it hit me harder than I expected.
I never met her. I only knew her through Shan Cai, the girl with braids, courage, and a stubborn heart. But somehow, losing Barbie felt personal. It felt like losing someone who raised a whole generation of girls in front of the television.
Girls in school wore braids because of Shan Cai. Vendors outside the gate sold Meteor Garden postcards, stickers, and keychains. Boys tried to grow out their hair like Dao Ming Si, sometimes with the confidence of Jerry Yan and only half the hair volume. F4 was on notebooks, shirts, and jeepney radios. Mandarin songs took over MYX and local radio, even if most of us had no idea what the lyrics meant. It did not matter. We sang them anyway.
I was that kid calling radio stations for F4 songs
I was one of those kids who called radio stations to request songs.
I waited for Ask for More, Meteor Rain, Can’t Lose You, and whatever F4 song I could recognize by melody alone. I sang Mandarin lines by sound, not meaning, with the full confidence of a child who felt every word anyway.
That is why hearing those songs live at FFOREVER felt almost unreal. These were not just songs anymore. They were time machines. And yes, Jerry Yan is still my crush. Man is 49 years old but he still looks exactly the same Dao Ming Si we loved on TV, for real! The man didnt sem to age at all!
FFOREVER came at the right time.
When Jerry, Vic, and Van Ness finally appeared onstage, it felt like seeing proof that the world I loved as a child had not completely disappeared. It had changed, of course. We had changed too. But for one night, that memory was alive again.
Ashin also felt like a meaningful addition. His presence helped carry the show, especially after F4’s reunion at Mayday’s Taipei Dome concert brought them back together in a big way.
For one night, we were all kids again
What moved me most was the crowd.
There were titas, millennials, friend groups, couples, and longtime fans who probably once rushed home from school or even cut class just to watch Meteor Garden. Some had waited more than two decades to see them in person. Some were finally hearing the songs they used to play on the radio, now live and loud inside the Philippine Arena.
For one night, everyone was allowed to be young again. We were not just watching celebrities. We were celebrating a shared memory. The boys we once saw on posters were real. The songs we once sang phonetically were being performed in front of us and the feelings came back.
And somewhere in all of that, Barbie was there too. She was in the fans who still remembered the lines. She was in the ache that came when “Meteor Rain” and “Ni Yao De Ai” played and childhood suddenly did not feel so far away.
I went to FFOREVER thinking I would simply enjoy the concert. Instead, I found myself thinking about the girl I used to be, the one who called radio stations for Mandarin songs, believed in Shan Cai’s courage, and thought Jerry Yan was the most beautiful man alive (Well, he is).
Years later, I got to see part of that dream in person.
And for one night it’s like 2003 again, and the little girl who once wished to see them in person finally got to.
